I used to enjoy leafing through travel and fashion magazines, as a respite from the more serious pursuit of keeping up with national events and world news. I would turn the pages of new, glossy issues, skimming the pictures and titles with a sense of complete relaxation and a tinge of guilty pleasure.

Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Travel and Leisure, Town and Country . . . All sorts of visual delights await the reader. Couture fashion shows in Paris and Milan. A hand- embroidered ball gown that costs as much as a small car. Precious jewels - rings, bracelets, necklaces priced in high six-figures; others "price upon request." Vacation in the Greek Islands, the Amalfi coast or scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef. Rent a villa in Provence. Full-color pictures accompany the fantasy articles. The magazines offer pure, unadulterated escapism and their continued publication attests to their success. The September issue of Vogue usually runs over 900 pages, almost too heavy to lift!

Alas, certain intruders have entered the world of fashion and travel magazines. It has often become a challenge to distinguish the text from the advertisements. In a travel magazine, one may encounter "special advertising" sections. There's a ten-page "Insiders' Guide to Australia: 50 Reasons to Vacation Down Under." A gorgeous model in a crimson chiffon dress is standing in open-toed sandals in what appears to be the Outback. Is she dressed for hiking? On the reverse side of the page is the Qantas ad followed by pages of pictures and descriptions of places to visit and adventures to experience. If I were planning a trip to Australia, this would be interesting and perhaps valuable. But I have to remember that this is being pitched by the places mentioned. Ads are interspersed: "Rail journey across the Red Continent. 10 days/7 nights air & land from $3,738. Brendan Worldwide Vacations." This is not one of the articles written by the staff of the magazine pointing out where to go and what to do from their reporters' experience and perspective.

A more pervasive intruder into the magazine world is the insert card. Have you noticed that insert cards are threatening to take over all the magazines we read? Cards of all shapes and sizes - tear-out cards, pull-out cards, loose cards, fold-out cards - and the final insult: the perfume sampler card. A veritable obstacle course of stiff paper hurdles has been created to thwart the leisurely turning of pages. In the old days, one or two discreet cards were tucked away near the back of the issue, reminding us that renewal time was close or encouraging us to take out an introductory or gift subscription. Current proliferation goes far beyond that line.

Never mind that the cards are usually perforated and can be removed as one flips along. They seem to stick right up when the pages are turned. Not only do they destroy the kinesthetic flow, but they also obscure the pages themselves. There are also full size foldout pages that stop the forward momentum. A six page heavy foldout reveals the "all-new Hyundai Azera" — a dark gleaming black beauty. This foldout is pasted into the magazine and can be pulled away for future contemplation. Other foldouts are permanent and raise problems when one is following a story and finds that the text is continued on the back of a foldout. Have the editors tried to find the rest of that story?

It is the perfume sample that has pushed me over the edge. There it lies, cradled in its diabolically clever and malleable foldout envelope, with "pulse points" and instructions for rubbing gently on one's wrist to "experience the fragrance." The real rub, of course, is that the entire magazine is already aromatic before I tear off the magic tab. I want to go on record with the categorical statement that I do not want my magazines to smell. It's enough of a hassle to avoid perfumed tissues, hair sprays, fabric softeners and other unmentionables without this latest perfumed dimension in our lives.

I decided to conduct my own random, unscientific survey. Since sound research first measures and investigates the nature of a problem, I systematically tore all the inserts out of all the magazines I could find in our house. And collected all the loose ones that fell on the floor as well. We probably rank among the Big Time Subscribers. We receive more than 30 bona fide publications, excluding the catalogues that arrive in full color from such varied sources as Tiffany's, Neiman Marcus and L.L. Bean.

Tearing out all the cards took over an hour since not only do we subscribe on a large scale, but I am also a hoarder of past issues of travel magazines. One never knows when one will plan that trip to the see the Hermitage in St. Petersburg or take the Alaska cruise. The grand total of inserts of all shapes, sizes and kinds was 168. It included: introductory subscriptions, gift subscriptions, special gifts e.g. Mothers Day, other magazine subscriptions, travel destinations and special offers, "Go Rving," financial services, sweepstakes, books, porcelains, dolls, gourmet foods, cars, model cars, sculpture, computers and the ubiquitous perfumes.

Since my survey was limited to our personal supply of magazines, there are still all the other publications to be surveyed. Heaven only knows what lurks within the pages of the X-rated publications. Now, the question is - Would you like to help? I certainly would appreciate your input and data on this subject. All you have to do is:

1. Collect all your magazines. 2. Tear out all the cards and inserts.

3. Count them and send the total number - not the cards- to me.

I'm planning to send the results as a protest to the publishers and editors of a cross-section of our leading magazines. With an insert card, of course, for their response.

Joyce S. Anderson's articles have appeared in the New York Times, the Philadelphia Inquirer and other national publications. She is the author of "Courage in High Heels," "Flaw in the Tapestry," "If Winter Comes" and "The Mermaids Singing." She can be reached at JSAWrite@aol.com.